After ten days and 3673 entries from 1547 people from across the world, First Words finished on October 14th. Needless to say, we received far more entries that we ever expected, and so it took us a while to go through all of them. Before I list the winners and runners-up, I'm going to say a few brief words about the judging process and our thoughts on the entries (if you really can't wait, just use the links above).
On the whole, we were pleasantly surprised with the quality of the entries. With Internet competitions, you tend to expect a certain amount of silliness and messing about, but these were kept to low levels in First Words. The Most Historic category was the most popular, closely followed by the Most Humourous category. The Most Original and In Five Words came up third and fourth, while Out of Context was a distant fifth.
As we expected, no-one had any problems understanding the Most Historic and Most Humorous categories. We found that the best entries were to be found in these two categories, and we had a hard time deciding the winners. People had more difficulty with the Most Original category - entries tended to be a mixture which belonged in other categories. In Five Words was well understood, but for some reason, hardly any of the Out of Context entries were actually quotations (which is what they were meant to be - quotations taken out of context). So this made it pretty easy to pick winners for the last category, although we don't mean that as a judgement on their quality.
We awarded prizes without regard to age or country - this wasn't hard to do, since we didn't ask entrants for either.
One of the criteria we used in judging was that winning entries should be easily understood by the majority of people - that meant no in-jokes or entries that required a scientific background. This meant that some entries that I personally found hilarious weren't eligible for prizes, but that's just the way things went. Please remember that judging a competition like this is a very subjective affair, and with the quality of the entries we received, we found it very difficult to decide on winners.
With all of that said, it remains for me to thank all of our judges for donating their time; David E Romm, Bill White, Cindy M and Mariko Arafune. And now, onto the winners!
- Adrian Hon, First Words organizer
First Prize ($40): Peter Stemwedel
"Since man started gazing at Mars, he wondered if there could be life on a planet other than earth. Now there is."
1st Runner Up (large flag of Mars): Amy Sterling Casil
December 17, 1903. Two brothers. One plane made of wood and hand-tooled parts. They flew at a speed of more than 45 feet per second for twelve seconds. That day, they were brave. Later, Orville Wright wrote, "I would hardly think today of making my first flight on a strange machine in a twenty-seven mile wind."
December 17, 2013. A crew of brothers and sisters under the skin. One lander made of precision-engineered metals, plastics and composites. "The Wright Brothers were brave enough to risk that first flight on a strange machine in a twenty-seven mile wind. In that spirit, we flew nearly 200 million kilometers at thousands of kilometers per hour for one hundred eighty days. This is the first flight in the history of the world in which a machine carrying men and women has raised itself by its own power to break the bonds of Earth and reach a true new world."
2nd Runner Up ($20): 'Eyal'
"We are as far away as any group of men as ever been from its families and yet we don’t feel alone; we are standing on the shoulders of giants with the collective dreams of billions in our hearts."
Shortlisted Entries:
"From today, Humanity will call Mars home." - Tom Hancock
"In the spirit of Leif Erikson, of Columbus, of Magellan, of Cook, and Armstrong, I set foot upon this distant shore across the airless sea, upon this empty land soon to be filled with the laughter and tears of the children of the Earth." - Mark R. Whittington
"It is so quiet here...so stark....so pristine...so pure.... and yet so barren. I keep looking around and yet my eyes are drawn ever upwards, upwards towards that small point in the sky from which we have come." - Trace Dunn
"We step upon the face of this new frontier carring with us the dream of thoses who want to reach for the stars. Given time, anything is possible." - Rick Hunter
"For the Wrights, for Yeager, for Gargarin, for Armstrong, for the men and women of all the space agencies of Earth, for all citizens of Earth who support this noble cause. For dreams that cause us to believe, to exceed, to surpass our weaknesses, to seek and find. We claim this planet, Mars, not in the name of a single country, rather in the name of Humanity." - Troy Ison
"If God intended us to land on this, the Red Planet, He would of made us stronger, needless of breath, and born with rocket boots. He didn't, but we've made it against all odds. Well done mankind." - Simon Hallett
"Houston, it is more beautiful than I ever imagined." - Kris Jones
"That's Two down and the Universe to go." - James R. Parker
"We have so much to learn, we have so far to go. Let this be the first of many steps." - Russ Avery
"We have met the Martians, and they are us." - Chris Massaro
"Though the footprints we leave in the dust this day will quickly vanish, their echoes shall fill the halls of history as we step into a larger universe." - Jeremiah Harrison
Commentary
We had quite a mixture of styles and lengths among the winners and shortlisted - we had the historic speeches and the dedications, and we had the heartful feelings. I actually found it painful to judge this category, and I suspect this feeling was shared by the other judges. There were so many good entries that I felt I was doing them a disservice by only rewarding a few of them. We added another runners up prize to this category to make things a little better, and if we had the money I would have given all of the shortlisted entries a prize.
First Prize ($40): Laura McDaniel
"Yeah NASA, we've landed, but that "meters or feet" comment during our final approach was NOT funny!"
Runner Up (Hugg-A-Planet Mars globe): Jim Mitchell
"We're gonna make a fortune selling these old Viking landers on eBay!"
Shortlisted Entries:
"Dr Zubrin, I presume." - Geir Inge Bildoy
"Annnnd cut! Great, that's a wrap. Okay guys, let's get set up for the flag planting scene..." - Jason Cundall
"We have roped off the pyramid, the city, and the Face. I give you the humble beginnings of 'Space Disney'!" - Brian Waldie
"What do you mean, they sent my luggage to Venus?" - Greg Pearson
"One small step for man one giant leap for the set designers of downtown Burbank and the secret cabal of workers in Area 51 who with help from the lizard people and Industrial Light and Magic made this possible." - Steven Gross
"Same thing Neil said." - Chuck Peterka
"In the name of our Sponsor, The Mars Society, we claim possession and ownership for all of Mars! Any and all claims made or held by Lunar Embassy are hereby declared null and void." - Keith W. Steeves
"I claim this land in the name of King George." - Keith E. Millard
"And the search for Osama Bin Laden takes another giant step..." - 'Zenmaster'
"Houston, Can I experiment and take my helmet off and see if I can actually breathe?" - 'Virgil'
"As near as I can make it out, it says, 'Launch site of the first expedition to Earth'." - Mike Troy
"Daily Horoscope: The Earth is in Scorpio, and we don't really know what that means." - Danny Jones
Commentary
Lots of great entries in this category, as you can see above. Lots of repetition as well, though - I lost count of how many times I read, 'left turn at Albuquerque' or some variation on it. Guys: it's funny, but not that funny. Also repeated were the numerous jokes about stepping in something nasty, or various human biological functions. Some of them were pretty good, but we weren't about to award half a dozen people for the same joke.
First Prize ($40): Braddon Mendelson
EXT. MARS - NIGHT
The door to the shuttlecraft slides open. The winning CONTESTANT passes over the threshold and takes that first, heroic step onto the silty surface of the red planet. He slowly looks around, keenly eyeing the terrain. He takes a deep breath from his oxygen mask and sighs lamentingly.
CONTESTANT
Hmmm... I wonder what was behind door number two...?
Runner Up (The Mars Trilogy by Kim Stanley Robinson): David Thompson
From flights of fantasy,
To there and back,
We've transended our dreams,
And brought fiction to fact.
Shortlisted Entries:
"It's a hundred billion and six miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of fuel, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses."
"Hit it." - Heather Lee
There were some space travellers from Earth, Who journeyed forth full of spirits and mirth, They landed on Mars, Put some rocks in some jars, And used eBay to learn what they're worth." - Thomas White
"Hello Mars; we shall leave nothing but our footprints." - Dave Mausner
"You see that bright blue star over there? That's Earth." - Benjamin Taylor
Commentary
Either a lot of people didn't understand the point behind this category, or we didn't explain it well enough; the Most Original category wasn't just for the 'most original' entry, it was also for the most original delivery. It would've been nice to get some sketches, drawings or paintings but alas we received practically none at all. Nor did we receive many songs or truly original entries. The ones we did receive, however, were excellent and you can see them above.
First Prize ($40): Tom Hancock
"Houston, explain, 'reboot life support'?"
1st Runner Up (The Case for Mars by Robert Zubrin): Tony Cheetham
"We hereby claim squatters rights."
2nd Runner Up (The Case for Mars by Robert Zubrin): Michele Briere
"I love it, I'll stay."
Shortlisted Entries:
"First of many, Red Planet!" - Doug Pensinger
"I like the sunrise here." - Tengwei Xu
"Two Worlds. One Race. United." - 'Jim'
"From fantasy to fact....touchdown." - David Thompson
"One new world, many dreams." - Mark Mills
"What's that rattling noi... *static*" - Douglas Suhina
Commentary
It was quite difficult judging this category since there's only so much you can fit into five words, but we feel the entries above are the best of a good bunch.
First Prize ($40): 'Daniel'
"We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time. - T.S. Eliot
1st Runner Up (a map of Mars): Don Griffin
Doroga k Zvjozdam Otkrita ("The way to the stars is open.") - Sergei Koroljov
2nd Runner Up (a map of Mars): 'Kiana'
"It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves." - William Shakespeare, 'Macbeth'
Shortlisted Entries:
"Scotty, Five to beam up." - Star Trek (entry by Ed Welsh).
"Nothing will ever equal that moment of exhilaration which filled my whole being when I felt myself flying away from the earth. It was not mere pleasure; it was perfect bliss..." - Prof. Jacques Alexandre Cesare Charles, first free flight in a manned hydrogen balloon, December 1st, 1783 (entry by Bill Bynum).
"...this is the first time I've actually stood on the surface of another planet...a whole alien world...! Pity it's such a dump though." - Arthur Dent, upon first setting foot on Magrathea, from The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy by the late, great Douglas Adams (entry by Thomas White).
"Beware when the great God lets loose a thinker on this planet." - Ralph Waldo Emerson (entry by Arwen Vidal).
"And the beat goes on..." - Sonny & Cher (entry by Bob Rauscher).
Commentary
As mentioned in the introduction, a lot of people didn't actually use quotations here - sure, they were 'out of context' but the idea of the category was that entries should consist of quotations taken out of context. To be fair, this was one of the more obscure categories of the competition so it's not surprising. I was quite pleased with the entries listed above - I hadn't heard of any of the quotations (apart from the Adams and Trek ones, of course) before. Clearly I am an uneducated fool.