We asked a large range of famous celebrities - and people who we think should be celebrities - what they thought the first words on Mars would be. Here's a selection of the best we received. Where applicable, the category they wrote their words for has been shown.
To be updated as entries are returned.
Dr. David Brin
Hugo and Nebula award-winning science fiction author and physicist
"That's one small step for a... what the hell? Who's THAT?"
(followed by static)"I claim this planet for Disneycorp."
"Oooooh.... diamonds!"
Cory Doctorow
Hugo award-winning science fiction author and EFF outreach co-ordinator
[Marvin voice] "I claim this planet in the name of Earth, mmmm, isn't that nice?" [/Marvin voice]
"Enjoy it while you can, son -- in ten years, this will just be more firmament for the Dyson sphere."
"People, people, please! This is a *new planet* and I know we're all excited, but let's keep our heads. Please don't parallelize yourself beyond that which you need; if a quintillion instances of your consciousness will do, then don't instantiate a heptillion, all right? if we're careful, we can make this rock last for a couple millennia. No one wants a three-peat of what happened to Terra and Luna. If you want unlimited scope-of-instance, stay in the ship and head out to Centauri."
"Gung hey fat choy!"
Paul McAuley
Multiple award-winning science fiction author
McAuley had this to say: One of the ideas explored in my novel 'The Secret of Life' is that life on Earth evolved from Martian bacteria hitchhiking on rocks knocked off the surface of Mars by the impacts which cratered the surface.
So what more appropriate first words for the first person to step on the surface of the Red Planet than 'We're back'?
Terry Pratchett
Award-winning science fiction and fantasy author of the bestselling Discworld series
"This time, let's do it right."
Kim Stanley Robinson
Hugo and Nebula award-winning science fiction author of the Mars Trilogy
Robinson had this to say: I would never undercut my character John Boone [from the Mars Trilogy], whose first words on Mars were, if I remember right, "Well, here we are." I think that's about right.
Charlie Stross
Science fiction author of the short story 'Lobsters'
Editor's note: Not everyone is prepared to think on such short-term timescales as landing on Mars... :)
Stross had this to say: Instead [of the first words on Mars] we should be thinking about the first words uttered by a human mind uploaded into a computing substrate. So:"Dismantle the moon and turn it into CPUs! We need the processor cycles to think more thoughts!"
Dr. William J. Clancey
Chief Scientist for Human-Centered Computing, NASA/Ames Research Center, Computational Sciences Division
"Look out, Mars! Here we come!"
Clancey comments on his entry: Going to Mars is playful, like the exploratory urge of a child investigating his backyard. The urge to check out the other planets, to camp out there, to establish a home, is like a child setting up a tent or making a tree house to play. Human capability and proclivity, whether in sports or arts or industry, is rooted in the outdoors. Two of the simplest human acts are walking forward and reaching down to pick up a handful of soil. We will wander, we will explore. Mars is the next great land we will visit and inhabit. Although we have many serious issues to consider, in searching for life, in protecting what we find for future generations to understand and enjoy, I suggest a cheerful spirit and sprightly tone -- humans will endure and they will learn. Let's go to Mars with optimism and pride. For we are the embodiment of consciousness, thought, and empathy. This is our solar system and we aim to enjoy it.
Prof. Colin Pillinger, FRS
Head of Planetary and Space Sciences Research Institute, Open University
"Look, there's Beagle 2 over there!"
Stephen Hesford, MP
Labour Member of Parliament for Wirral West
"I have been meaning to drop-in for ages."
Lembit Öpik, MP
Liberal Democrat Member of Parliament for Montgomeryshire
"I do not stand on this landscape of iron, this red desert, alone, but with all mankind and all who gazed at this Sphere of Fixed Stars and dreamed one day of touching it."
When we say 'everyone else', we don't mean it as if we regard these entries as less worthy than those received from the other groups. The groups specified above only represent the largest. So that's all sorted then.
Richard Stallman
Founder of GNU Project and Free Software Foundation
"Here we can share music!"