The competition is now finished and closed to entries!
There are five different categories you can enter into. You may enter only once in each category. The categories are fairly self-explanatory, and the prizes for each category are listed below.
Generally speaking, each category is pretty free-form. For example, you could write a humorous entry for any category, even for Most Historic (although that'd probably be asking for trouble). Likewise, you could write a serious entry for any category, apart from obviously Most Humorous. Entries can go up to two hundred and fifty words (apart from In Five Words) although if you wrote something that long it'd have to be really good all the way through; long entries are most suited to Most Historic, and short entries would suit any other category. Of course, these are just guidelines, not rules - who knows, the first words on Mars might be the start of a comic monologue?
Before you enter, you must read the rules of the competition and then register.
Think, "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." Or perhaps Churchill's famous, "We will fight them on the beaches..." speech. Short or long, your words will have to fire the spirits of all those who hear them, and stand the test of time.
First Prize: $40
One Runner Up: A large flag of Mars (no, it won't be the one that went into space).
Come on. We don't need to give you any advice about how to enter this category - the entire concept of a human landing on Mars is just waiting for jokes. If you're still not sure what we'd want, here are a few examples, courtesy of the Culture List:
"Is your mike off?... Good! I can't wait to be the first man to pee on Mars!... The mike's on?... Once again Nasa makes history."
"Oh crap, I left the keys in it."
"What's that emblem on that hillside over there? Looks like two golden arches..."
It's probably easier to write a short entry for this category than a long one, but as long as it's funny and not too offensive, anything goes.
First Prize: $40
One Runner Up: A Hugg-A-Planet Mars globe (yes, it's weird, but it's also kinda cool).
In order to explain this category, we're going to have to tell a story (bear with us here). At Cambridge University, it's well known that interviews for prospective undergraduates can be intimidating, when you're up against extremely intelligent and sarcastic professors (a dangerous combination of traits in any person). Some years ago, it's said, one prospective arts student walked into the office of an interviewer. The interviewer was seated behind a desk reading a newspaper. He said nothing, and gestured for the student to sit down.
The student sat down and waited for a minute, during which time the interviewer remained silent and continued reading his newspaper. Finally, he lowered the newspaper and intoned, "Surprise me," and then lifted the paper up again.
A few seconds passed while the student mulled this over. He came to a decision, pulled out a lighter from his pocket, leaned forward and set fire to the interviewer's newspaper.
So, that's what we'd like you to do - surprise us. Not by setting fire to our website, obviously, but in some infinitely more pleasant way. Some ideas might include poetry, songs, art, videos or haiku. And no, the story doesn't tell what happened to the student afterwards...
If you're going to enter this category, please consult the special category rules.
First Prize: $40
One Runner Up: The Mars Trilogy by Kim Stanley Robinson.
We admit it - this category is unashamedly based on the rules for Webby Award winners, who have to limit their acceptance speeches to five words. If the person who landed on Mars only had five words to say, what would they be?
Update: The competition hasn't even started yet and this category is causing problems; not surprising, as people try and fit as much into five words as is humanly possible. Contractions such as there's and I'll are fine, as are any other expressions used in normal speech or writing. However, please use your own judgement for this - any ridiculous expressions will not be allowed.
First Prize: $40
Two Runners Up: The Case for Mars by Robert Zubrin.
We want you to take a quotation out of context, and use it as the first words said on Mars (hence 'Out Of Context'). Obviously, we're going to look more favorably on those who use well-known quotations as opposed to, say, something that you just made up. When you enter this category, you must give a reference as to where it came from. Some might think that we were having a hard time thinking of a fifth category, but we believe there's some fun to be had here (that's our story, and we're sticking to it).
First Prize: $40
Two Runners Up: A map of Mars.